I’m a Mom?

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I’ve been a Mom for over 7 months now.  Yet I still sometimes look at my sweet son and say, “Whoa.  I’m a MOM.  This is my SON.”  And I am blown away all over again.

Our son is the sweetest little boy.  He just keeps getting cuter and cuter, smarter and smarter. There are definitely overwhelming moments however.  Our little angel baby is very clingy.  For the first six months of his life, he was only happy in Mommy’s arms.  Occasionally he would sit in Daddy’s lap for a little while, but then he would cry for Mommy.  Tummy time lasted about 30 seconds (on a good day) and he had to be VERY asleep before he went in his crib or he would wake up and cry.  Or scream.  Or screech.

At first it was very very difficult.  I was so sleep deprived….absolutely exhausted.  It felt like all he did was cry all day.  He always woke up crying.  I got tired of having him constantly all over me.  There were days where I lived for his nap times and as soon as I shut the door to the nursery I breathed a sigh of relief.  And then I usually would climb back into my own bed for some rest.

The past few weeks he has gotten more mobile (yes, your baby will still meet developmental milestones even if s/he isn’t doing lots of tummy time!) and now he can play by himself anywhere from 5-20 minutes.  Amazing!!!!   And, get this….he even ASKS for Daddy to hold him sometimes!!

He still loves his Mommy though.  Often he will be playing with his toys and look over at me to make sure I’m still there.  If I look back at him and smile, he’ll just grin at me.  Sometimes he will inch or scoot (not quite crawling yet) over to me and just lay a hand on me while he continues to examine a toy.  Other times he will attempt to crawl into my lap.  If he’s sitting next to me, he’ll lean over periodically for a hug and then go back to playing.  Play for 10 seconds, hug, play for 10 seconds, hug, play for 10 seconds…climbs into Mommy’s lap. He loves cuddle time too.  He loves it when I pick him up and hold him against me.  He’ll burrow in and put his head on my shoulder or neck.  Sometimes his little feet will “climb” up my stomach.  And he’ll giggle in my ear.

I love it.

But I’m still blown away.  I’m blown away that I can be a comfort to my son.  That it’s me that makes him feel safe and loved.  That my body brings him comfort and is perfect for cuddles. All of these things remind me that God saw fit to make me a mother.  He knew what my heart would need as encouragement on this path.  Even though the clingy times were/are very rough, it is those moments that encourage my heart so much.  There were so many times when I was younger that I didn’t know if I could bring the kind of comfort to a baby that mothers are supposed to.

God says, “Yes.”  God says that He can and will give me what it takes.  Because He has called me to this. Those moments that are difficult…and I’m sure there are many more to come…are blessings in disguise.

-Bonnie

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2 thoughts on “I’m a Mom?

  1. Aw, so cute!! He sounds like my girls – needs Mommy, won’t sleep alone. 🙂 But the smiles and cuddles make it all worth it. Thanks for sharing!

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