Long Time No Write

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It’s hard to believe that it’s been 8 months since I last posted.  I have gone back and forth as to whether I would ever resurrect this blog or not.  But as soon as I was notified that my domain was about to expire I knew that I wasn’t ready to stop blogging.

I make no promises to get back to any sort of blogging schedule.  I would rather keep this space for posting when I feel like I need or want to.

A brief recap of the last 8 months….

….The Wingman celebrated his third birthday.  Crazy, I know!

….The Pilot was gone for a while with his job and I worked on quite a few projects while he was gone.  Hopefully I can blog a bit about some of them!

…In June I became pregnant with our fourth child.  At 16 weeks, his heart stopped beating.  I went to the hospital, labored for 9 hours, and gave birth to another precious son.  It has taken a lot of time to process it all and I know I’m far from being done.  But I am sure some posts about his life and late miscarriage will show up here sometime.

…It has been an absolutely horrible few months.  There is no other way to describe it.  But I am holding onto hope.  “Sometimes holding tight [to Truth] feels more like hanging on, but don’t give up.  Don’t believe the lie that you should let go.  God holds you.  Hold tight to Him.”  (She Reads Truth by Raechel Myers and Amanda Bible Williams, page 170)

To close this post, I want to share this song.  It has been like my anthem over the past year.  When I first heard it, I was at a Tenth Avenue North concert and the song hadn’t even been recorded.  That tour was the first time they sang it for people.  I sat there with tears pouring down my face, not knowing how the song would grow even more important to me.  I hope that it is a blessing and encouragement to you as well.

 

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Coming Down from the Mountaintop

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Have you ever had what they call a mountain-top experience?  Sometimes it’s a single event, sometimes it is a long period of time, but it is something that is so encouraging, so motivating, so life-giving, that it makes you soar and propels you forward.

I had a mountain-top experience last week.  A good friend of mine came out to visit and together we went to a Tenth Avenue North concert, also featuring Hawk Nelson and I Am They.

tenth avenue north

Oh my goodness.

I can’t even begin to describe how absolutely amazing it was.

Talk about life-giving!

Tenth Avenue North is by far my favorite Christian group.  Their lyrics are so full of the character of God, but they delve into real life.  Some of their songs are full of pain and heartache.  They show how terribly hard life can be, and how we can throw ourselves on Him in the darkest of times.

They talk about grace and freedom in Christ.  They praise Him for how He sets His people free and creates new life.

Music can be so powerful.  And that night at that concert, the music and the musician’s heart for the Lord, so strongly encouraged me.  To live like I’ve been set free.  To live in freedom.  To live in boldness.  To live as if all the earth is holy ground.  To raise my hands to the Lord because even in the midst of utter darkness, He is good and He is true.

After leaving the concert, the lyrics were running through my head for a good 48 hours.  And I have definitely continued to listen to the albums since then.

How do you come down from a mountaintop experience?

I long for that kind of experience every day.  It would be incredible to have that boldness and joy every second of every day.

Sometimes I think that is why God gives us those experiences.  Sometimes life just absolutely sucks and concerts, or conferences, or a talk with a friend, or victories over sin, can be such a breath of fresh air.

When that “feeling” wears off, I pray that the messages will stay with me.  That I will remember the truths I have heard that night.  That I will remember the humility and love that I saw modeled in their words and actions.

I am so thankful that we were able to attend the concert.  But I pray that it will not be just one great night, or one great week.  I pray that I will live as a child of God who is redeemed and safe in His presence moment by moment.

Several months ago, I blogged about The Struggle, one of my absolute favorite songs by Tenth Avenue North.  I am pretty sure that there will be some more of their music featured on my blog here soon. 😉

Have you ever had an incredible spiritual experience?  I’d love to hear about it in the comments!

-Bonnie

Perfect Way to Start

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The other day I heard the most beautiful song.  I have listened to quite a few miscarriage songs and just plain old encouraging-in-the-midst-of-pain songs.  But this one is by far my favorite.

Craig Aven writes songs for each of his children.  Last year his wife had a miscarriage.  Later in the year she had a second one.  This is a song he wrote to his unborn children.

I love his intro in the beginning as well.  Some of the most powerful words I’ve heard since losing our babies…”This is not something that we should be ashamed to say hurts us.  Losing a baby.  Because it’s valuable and precious.”

I have listened to this song several times already and I always end up sobbing.  This is so beautiful.  So sad and yet so happy.

My babies are so so missed on this earth.  But I am happy that they so quickly got to experience the joys of heaven and they are able to sit in the lap of Jesus Himself.

-Bonnie

Noise or Silence

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I go through spells.

For a while now, my spell has been of listening to music almost constantly.  Usually Christian songs, both old and new alike.

It is so very helpful to listen to the words and have our house filled with worship.  My heart is encouraged as I listened to God’s Word and God’s truth being proclaimed.  It draws me closer to the Lord and allows me to pour out my heart to Him.

And then every now and then I realize that suddenly the music can seem oppressive.  Annoying.  With one quick click, I turned off the music coming from the computer.  Silence.  That silence was like a breath of fresh air.

Sometimes I surround myself with so much noise that I can’t function well anymore.  It’s amazing how one day something can be so healing to my soul and the next day that very same thing can feel almost damaging.

I have realized that there is a place for both.  Music can definitely be exactly what I need.  But after a while of a lot of noise, sometimes what I need is the silence.  Golden silence in which I can pray, meditate, think….or even not think if I just need a break from the chaos inside me.  I feel like I constantly have about 2,000 thoughts going through my brain at once.  Taking a step back can really be refreshing.

Right now I am actually in an in-between spot.  I’ve really been enjoying music with no lyrics, like my George Winston or David Nevue stations on Pandora.  I’ve also been enjoying more mindless music that I don’t need to quite concentrate on as much.  But I’ve also been enjoying silence.  Even loading the dishwasher or cleaning up can be so peaceful when I’m just reveling in the quiet.

And I assume soon the cycle will start over and once again I will be needing music with amazing lyrics to cling to. 🙂

What about you?  Do you go through these spells?  Or do you tend to just prefer one or the other – music or silence?

-Bonnie

Favorite Pandora Stations

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Pandora is generally my first choice when it comes to listening to music.  I have almost thirty stations, but a few stand out as my favorites.

Favorite Pandora Stations

1. Tenth Avenue North.  By far my absolute favorite group.  I love almost all of their songs, from The Struggle to Healing Begins to You are More.

2.  David Nevue.  I forget where I first heard about his music, but I’m thankful for that blogger whoever it was.  Add his station if you want absolutely gorgeous and peaceful piano music.  (You can even download some of his sheet music at his site here!)  George Winston is another great station for peaceful piano.

3.  Disney Channel Stars.  Yes, I admit it.  I like Disney teen pop music. 😉

4.  Laura Story.  Her lyrics are amazing!

5.  Next I just have to say country music in general.  I have Brad Paisley, Taylor Swift, and Rascal Flatts.

6.  For a kid’s station, I have enjoyed The B-I-B-L-E Radio.

One of the things I love about Pandora is that you can hear songs similar to your interests.  I like that I don’t have to type in specific songs I want to play….I can hear my specific favorite artists and then also be exposed to new music or perhaps other favorites.

Do you use Pandora?  What are your favorite stations?

-Bonnie

Life With You

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I now direct you to our song.  Because I love it.  And because I love and miss my husband.  Also because it is the inspiration behind our blog name.

Love you, sweetheart!!!  You are the best husband in the world!!

-Bonnie