It is so easy to feel alone in this.  It is so easy to feel like no one understands what you’re going through.  It’s easy to feel alienated by your TTC journey.  It’s easy to feel like the odd one out when you can’t participate in the motherhood or moms-of-multiples discussions.  It’s easy to feel less-than when other moms indicate that you just can’t relate because you “only” have one child.

So on those days where you feel like no one can see you…..

Remember that you are not alone.

Infertility affects 1 in 8 couples.  There are millions of other people in your shoes right now.  On the one hand, that is not at all encouraging and it can be quite discouraging.  On the other hand, it is somewhat encouraging that your trials are not off-the-wall or crazy.  There are people who understand.  There are online forums, Facebook communities, and church Bible studies.  Connect yourself with people who understand.  Check out this post which links to a lot of infertility bloggers!

Chances are, you probably have family or friends who would love to be there for you.  Maybe they “get it” and have been through it themselves, maybe they don’t.  But they love you.  Decide what you are comfortable sharing and then allow them to be there for you.  Don’t lie to yourself and say that nobody cares.  Trust me, I’ve been there.  That’s a great way to make a discouraging situation even more discouraging.

Above all, you are not alone because the Lord is with you.  David says in the Psalms, “You keep track of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle.  Are they not in your book?”  (Psalm 56:8)

Now, that verse is specifically talking about David’s life being threatened. But throughout Scripture we can see the great love and care that God has for His people.  He cares.  Psalm 139 talks about how God knows exactly who you are, exactly what you are doing, and exactly what you are feeling.  He is in that doctor’s office with you.  He is in the car crying with you.  He is in the bathroom seeing that negative pregnancy test with you.  You are not alone. 

He already knows 100% what is going on inside your body.  He sees your pain.  He cares about your pain.

Pour out your heart to Him.  It is ok to be honest.  Read the Psalms and see how honest David got with God!!!  So often we think that we have to be ultra spiritual and push our questions and fears down so that the true Christian responses can surface.  David (and Jeremiah for that matter!) show that those questions, doubts, and fears are not only completely normal, but it is completely fine and good to talk to God about them.  It is in working through those feelings that true Christianity shines through.

“Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us.  Selah.”
Psalm 62:8

You are not alone.

And I know I’m just a blogger, but I care about you too.  Whatever your story and whatever you are going through.  If you would like to talk, go ahead and shoot me an email at lifewithyou1222 (at) gmail (dot) com.

-Bonnie