I think this post is overdue.
For those who have been reading our blog for a while, you know about all the doctor’s visits and tests and procedures I went through to determine if I had PCOS. And if it wasn’t PCOS, what was it? (If you’re new, you can see those posts here. )
The last update was that everything was fine health wise. Praise God!
I need to just talk about answered prayer.
Before the Pilot and I were together…when I was still trying to sort out my feelings for him….I prayed many times that God would bring the right woman into his life to help him raise his children. I knew that he wanted children.
It was hard. During all the doctor visits, not knowing if I would actually be the answer to that prayer I prayed. It was hard even after we got the all-clear when we had several negative pregnancy tests. Maybe something was wrong with my body after all? Maybe God just didn’t intend for us to be parents.
But I prayed. I prayed that my body would be able to conceive. I prayed that we would be able to have children. At least three close friends were praying with me.
Fast forward to last November. The Pilot and I had both noticed that things were odd with me. For one thing, I was getting out of breath after hardly any exertion. We were getting slightly concerned and were making plans to go to the doctor if it didn’t get better. Neither of us ever dreamed I was pregnant.
We went to the commissary and just picked up a .99 cent test so that I could know for sure I wasn’t pregnant and move on with my life. When we got home I waited a few minutes and prayed about the test results Rather, I prayed for my heart. Unlike some of the previous times of testing for pregnancy, I wasn’t all caught up in the moment (I honestly thought I wasn’t pregnant) but I still was just praying that when it came out negative I would praise His plan. I wanted to honor God regardless of the result..
So I took the test and IMMEDIATELY it came out a super clear positive. What?? I waited the full two minutes in the hallway, went back in and it was still positive. I took the test in to my husband, held it up and said, “I think I’m pregnant.” He took it and began to examine the test. That’s when I started crying and we just hugged. We went straight back to the store for a more expensive test and I took two more….both immediately a clear positive. We were so giddy!!
This baby is an answer to prayer.
I am just praising God. Praising Him that my body is in fact able to conceive. Praising Him for His perfect timing. (We wouldn’t have been able to do half the amazing things we did before our move if we had been pregnant sooner.) Praising Him for that wonderful day we got the positive. Praising Him for this baby. Our son. Our son!!
During those months of waiting to get pregnant…those months where I was looking down at another negative test…God grew me so much. And I am so thankful for that!
I’ve wondered what people would think after reading our blog. After seeing the stories about the doctor’s tests….then I’m pregnant. Would people judge me? “See, there was no reason to be upset before!” “Silly girl.” “You should have just given it more time.” I know, I know…what people think doesn’t matter. (Amazing book about people-pleasing “When People are Big and God is Small” by Edward Welch…on my “To Be Read Again” list.) Honestly…I don’t feel ashamed at all. That is precisely the path God took us down. For a reason. And it is never easy to be facing facts that you might have difficulty conceiving or be unable to completely. I don’t apologize for what I went through. I proclaim it to show off the goodness of God and His amazing hand!
This has been quite a journey. And we are so thankful!