Weddings are kind of weird things for me right now.
I currently have a few recently married friends and engaged friends. I look at them and see the love filling their eyes. With joy and hope infusing everything about them. With an entire future spread out before them.
2015 was a weird year for me. It was a really great year, as I came to see and understand new depths of the hope, grace, and freedom in Christ. And it was also an extremely horrible year as we had to say good-bye to two of our children.
Sometimes when I see the newly-in-love couples, my heart wants to scream at them, “You don’t know what’s coming!”
Death of loved ones.
There are host of things that most couples will go through at one point or another in their years together.
I think back to our own wedding day. When we were so happy and the joy of the years of our future spread out before us. We had no idea what was in store for us.
I don’t intend that to be a bad thing or a condescending, “Just wait until you get to where I am.” Because…
That joy is a beautiful thing. And after the hardships we have been through, culminating most recently in our two miscarriages, I have seen even more what it means to grow in our love for each other for better or for worse.
Worse will come. Worse has come.
But in a way, that worse is also the better. It is the worse that draws us closer to each other, that brings us to the better. It makes me love my husband in a deeper way that I cannot even begin to describe. The worse and the better are intertwined.
Yes, sometimes my recent pain and grief have me wondering what couples will experience down the road. I want to warn them, but I don’t know what I would say. I guess I do know what I would say. Cling to that for better and for worse. It will test you like you cannot imagine, but it has the capacity to draw you together like you cannot imagine as well.
So, pledge that for better and for worse. Look with joy and wonder-filled love at your amazing wonderful person you are going to spend your life with. Because that is the person who will be there with you on your worse days. The person you will be there for on their own worse days.
Love your love. It is amazing right now and it will continue to be amazing.