Judging Those Judgers

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You know what is weird to me?

It’s weird to me that the church is so anti-legalism and anti-judgmentalism……that they are judgmental about it.

I have always found that ironic.

Growing up, we frequently had people accusing us of legalism and judgmentalism.  Looking back, I can understand more of why they perceived it that way, although I still think that in many cases they were wrong.

What they were definitely wrong about though?  They were definitely wrong about a couple things

1. Lumping us all together.  Because our family as a unit did or practiced certain things, therefore all of our hearts were legalistic and we were judging all other people who did differently.  This doesn’t even make sense.  All people are unique individuals and all people are at different points in their walks with God.  Maybe we were all legalistic.  Maybe half of us were.  Maybe only one of us was.  Maybe none of us was.  To say that all of us were legalistic is a huge assumption.

2. Judging our hearts.  I have seen this so many times.  It hits me pretty hard because I have been personally attacked so many times.  It hurts a lot to be accused and it can be so hard to get false accusations out of your head and heart.  Judging the status of people’s hearts before God is going a bit far.

People assumed the motivation behind our choices.

People were upset at us for judging them.

People talked about us behind our backs and said painful things.

People wouldn’t even talk to us to ask why we did what we did.  They assumed.

In short…people judged us for our conservative choices.  Our whole family was a taboo.  My husband had a couple people telling him he should not marry me because of a few specific things.  That weren’t even true.  I thank God that the Pilot didn’t listen to them and instead got to know me and got to know the truth.

Did I have legalism in my life?  Yes.  But I think that the situations in which I was legalistic would surprise most people.  I still have people who have painted me into a box and refuse to see any other colors on the canvas.  Preconceived ideas and notions keep people from getting to know me.

Why are people labeled as judgmental and legalistic just for being conservative?

And why is it ok to judge people’s conservative choices?

And why is it ok to judge conservatives for judging you?

Judgmental Christians

I get that it is a complicated issue.  I get that a lot of times conservative choices can be legalistic.  (News flash: Choices made in the name of “Christian liberty” can also be legalistic!)  I get that there is a lot of baggage surrounding the whole issue.

But judgment isn’t the answer.  To accuse someone of legalism, especially without knowing the facts or the state of their heart, is judgmentalism.

If you are concerned about someone, by all means talk to them.  Please do not make accusations.  Do not talk behind their back.  Do not assume.

And please be careful casting the first stone.  Legalism comes in many forms, and so does judgmentalism.

Standards, conservative or not, come down to a person’s personal relationship with God.  We ought not judge “liberal” people or “conservative” people simply for making choices that are different from ours.

I understand this post could seem ironic.  I don’t intend to judge others in my comments about judging.  😉  I merely hope to spark conversation or perhaps cause each of us to stop and think about our thoughts and words toward others.

Thoughts?

-Bonnie

 

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A Christian’s Journey through Doubts, Discouragement, and Depression

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Sometimes life is not as we expect.  Sometimes Christianity does not go as planned. Sometimes things are harder than we were told.

I have come to realize that true Christianity is a lot harder and a lot more nitty gritty than I had always thought.  At the same time, it is far more simple than I ever realized.  It goes deeper than a lot of people admit and it is a lot more straight forward than a lot of people want.

Following Christ is truly a paradox and it’s one that I do not have figured out.  The past couple of years have been rough but I am thankful for what God has taught me.

In case you missed my latest blog series, here is a recap.  My story is far from over, and I pray that I will continue to rely on God’s grace to get me through.

Drowning

Drowning in the Questions

The Stealth of Legalism

The Death of Trying

Learning to Unlearn

The Struggle

When the Love of my Husband Spoke to Me

When I Pondered my Love as a Mom

God, I Need You Now!

When the Darkness Will Not Lift

I am Spoken For!

My Life Has Been Transformed

Resources for the Depressed or Discouraged

When Those Doubts Creep Back In

-Bonnie

From Around Blog Land

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Discipline Versus Punishment – On being God’s children

Why Admitting it’s Not Always Glitter, Sunshine, and Roses is an Important Message About Motherhood – Great post on motherhood and being real.

My Daughter Talks to Her Dad on Modesty – Food for thought with all the modesty wars on the internet.  Didn’t agree with it all but it was good to think about.

The Motherhood Days We Don’t Talk About But We Should – Goes hand in hand with the link two above this….

Infertility Etiquette – So, so good.

Top 5 Ways to Earn Money at Home

Do You Fit the Profile of the Average Christian Woman?

To the Mom or Dad Who Told Their Child Not to Stare at Mine – From the Mom of a little girl with a rare genetic syndrome.  Really good post!

 

Oldie But Goodie Link-Up

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Welcome!  Thank you for stopping by Life With You to visit our link-up.

Do you have an old post that still gets a lot of traffic?  Or do you have a post you loved that got buried in the archives?  Link up here!  Share your oldie but goodie!

A few rules –

1.  Link up as many old posts as you would like.  Make sure you share the link of your actual post, not just your blog.

2. Visit at least one other post in the link up and leave a relevant comment.

3. It is not required, but it would be great if you would grab my button to include on your post or link back to my blog.

4. Make sure you come back next month to link up and check out other posts!  The link-up will go live on the last day of each month.

 

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Book Review: The Patmos Deception

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Unfortunately, I was not a fan of The Patmos Deception by Davis Bunn.  I know I am hard to please when it comes to fiction, but I found the characters in this book to be flat.  The people were cliched and conversations were cliched.

I almost stopped reading it several times, but about halfway through it did pick up somewhat.  I did finish it and enjoyed the second half more than the first half.  The drama and mystery was over-written.  It seemed as if the author was attempting to make it seem mysterious and gripping…..when there was very little that was actually mysterious about it.  Several times it felt like the characters were over-reacting and the danger just wasn’t that great.

I did enjoy the setting of the book.  It takes place in Greece and one of the main characters is extremely knowledgeable about that area.  She talked of the Biblical places of Ephesus and Patmos.  It definitely lit a fire under me and reminded me that I really want to visit there and experience that culture as well as see those Biblical sites.

Note: I received this book for free from Bethany House Publishers in exchange for this review.

-Bonnie

Spouse Deployment Survival Kit

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One of my most re-pinned Pins is this one.  It’s about how to make a survival kit to give to a friend whose spouse is deployed.  When I went back to look at it today, I discovered the original link is dead, as the owner made the blog private.  But Google yielded some other great results.

I am just loving this idea!!  Deployments are looming up closer and closer for us and, knowing myself and my tendencies, I have a feeling it is going to be a battle for me to fight for joy and not give in to a full-time pity party.  I know deployments are hard on all spouses and families, and I think this is a great idea.  I have great plans to make these for a couple of my friends when their husbands deploy for the first time.

Here are some ideas for things to include in this spouse deployment survival kit…

  • Stationery and stamps
  • Chocolate
  • Journal
  • Pens
  • Encouraging book
  • Scripture verses

And because I am not the most clever person, I direct you to these awesome posts.  Great ideas for including things like marbles (for when you’ve lost yours), a sucker (because it’s ok to admit sometimes that deployments suck), tea (for the late nights when it’s hard to fall asleep) etc.  Check out the posts here, here, and here (this one even has a free printable!).

What kind of survival kits have you made?  What did you include?

-Bonnie

101 in 1001

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I have seen these goal lists many times but I finally decided to make one of my own.  I always think of things that I would love to do “someday”…or there are things on my mental to do list that just never get done.  So here is a written list that I am putting on our blog for accountability.  I am excited to check things off!  I will keep this list as a tab at the top of our blog and will cross off items as I complete them.  If I blog about a specific item, I will also add the link to that post.

So…here are 101 goals to be completed in 1001 days!

Start date: June 16, 2014
End date: April 26, 2017

Food and Cooking:

1. Don’t eat out for a month.

2. Make a bone broth.

3. Make homemade taquitos.

4. Find 20 new side dishes to incorporate in family meals.

 

Health:

5. Work out at least 3 times a week for 2 months

6. Do a juice cleanse.

7. Participate in a mud or color run.

8. Find recipes for, make, and use at least 3 natural cleaners.

9. Drink 8 bottles of water a day for a week straight.

10. Do 30 push-ups and sit-ups a day for two weeks straight.

11. Run a mile in less than ten minutes without stopping.

12.   Run twice a week for a month straight.

13. Do a sugar cleanse.

14. Complete the 30 Day Shred.

15. Do a detox bath.

 

Reading:

16. Participate in a reading challenge.

17. Read at least 3 marriage books.

18. Read 10 ebooks.

19. Read 2 books by Dickens.

20. Read 5 fiction books I already own.  (They can’t overlap with books for another item on my list.)

21. Read 5 nonfiction books I already own.  (They can’t overlap with books for another item on my list.)

22. Join or start a book club.

23. Read 2 biographies.

 

Blog:

24. Host a blog link-up.

25. Run a blog series.

26. Blog about at least 40 of the items on my list and how I achieved them.

27. Get 40,000 hits on my blog.

28. Comment on at least two blogs every day for a month.

29. Write a guest post for another blog.

30.  Have 3 guest posts on our blog.

 

Spiritual:

31. Spend time studying a different book of the Bible each month for 4 months.

32. Memorize one book of the Bible.

33. Go through Jonathan Edwards resolutions.

34. Go through a 30 day challenge (prayer challenge or husband encouragement challenge) and invite others to join for accountability.

35. Memorize 5 uplifting songs.

36. Listen to 10 online sermons.

37. Donate money to 5 organizations that are working for God.

 

Relationship:

38. Buy or make the Pilot a gift for no reason.

39. Go to a couples massage.

40. Go geo-caching

41. Go to a drive-in movie.

42. Take a dance class with the Pilot.

43. Surprise the Pilot with a “big” date.

44. Go on a picnic.

45. {Personal}

46. {Personal}

47. Go on a progressive dinner date.

48.  Movie theater marathon.  (2+ moves in a row)

49. Leave notes for the Pilot all around the house for him to find.

50. Have a board game date night.

 

Parenting:

51. Get involved in a play group for the Wingman.

52. Do 30 intentional activities with the Wingman.

53. Go to the zoo.

54. Read 2 parenting books.

55. Buy him a just because gift.

56. Go on 10 Mommy/Son dates.

57. Make a busy bag.

58. Find 5 new healthy snacks for the Wingman.

 

Personal:

59. Find 10 new hairstyles to try.

60. Get a makeup lesson.

61. Buy myself flowers just because.

62. Wear makeup for a week straight.

63. Begin process of becoming a certified prenatal fitness instructor.

64. Become CPR certified again.

65. Get a massage.

66.  Pick two of my clothing ideas off of Pinterest to incorporate into my real wardrobe.

 

To Learn:

67. Learn some self defense skills.

68. Learn 3 new piano pieces.

69. Learn basic sewing skills.

70. Brush up on US geography.

71. Brush up on world geography.

72. Learn to French braid.

73. Brush up on the alphabet in sign language.

74. Learn basic First Aid.

75. Learn to fold a fitted sheet.

 

For Others:

76. Write 10 letters to friends just because.

77. Send a care package to a friend just because.

78. Find ways to bless 5 strangers.  (Such as giving a server a 100% tip, paying for someone else’s drive thru order, etc)

79. Send 2 packages to Any Soldier.

80. Surprise a friend with flowers.

81. Send 5 notes of gratefulness to people who have blessed my life.

82. Bake cookies for the Pilot to take in to work.

83. Help fund an adoption.

84. Babysit someone else’s kids so they can go on a date.

 

Hospitality:

85.  Have a new friend/couple over for dinner each month for 6 months.

86. Host 10 game nights.

87. Host a mystery dinner party.

88. Host a block party.

 

Odds and Ends

89. Buy a brand new copy of The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex to give to someone on Paperbackswap.

90. Complete 5 Pinterest projects.

91. Explore 10 new-to-me local businesses or stores in my town.

92. Get a sign that lists the bases we have been to.

93. Post an encouraging song on Facebook every weekend for a month.

94. Don’t ask the Pilot to help me for 3 days.  (I can do things, I’m just lazy sometimes)

95. Take a technology break for one week.

96. Spend 30 minutes writing every day for 30 days.

97. Complete wedding scrapbook.

98. Complete a crochet project.

99. Complete a cross stitch project.

100. Try Birchbox

101. Make 2 snapfish photo books.

-Bonnie