Growing up, I always had the dream of being a famous published author.  I wanted to be a novelist.  Words inspired me.  There is nothing like the feeling you get when you read something that is just incredibly well written.

I tried my hand at fiction.  Plots came to me that inspired me for a while….and then they died off.  Several stories began, but I realized I didn’t have a full enough plot to make a real book.  My novels turned into short stories.  Several books were never finished.

Somewhere I have my series about the little girl named Felicity that I wrote when I was in middle school.  And also buried somewhere is my mystery (unfinished) with the bad guy named Tacomel.  In our basement somewhere in a red notebook is the historical fiction I was writing about Ruth from the Bible.  That is the book I got the farthest in and I still hope to finish it, even if I never pursue publication.

For years I have prayed that if God wanted me to write a book, that He would give me a plot.  I don’t want to just put words on a page or have some worn out, cliched plot.  I wanted to have something worth sharing.

I think God might have given me my plot.

Although it turns out it’s not fiction.

For several months now I have felt the pull to write a book on miscarriage.  I process things through writing, so I know it would be helpful for me.  And there are not many resources out there for going through this kind of tragedy.

I’m scared.  Who am I to write a book about that topic?  I’m still in the middle of grief, so I don’t have all the answers.

I’ve tried to talk myself out of it.  But then there will be times when I’m driving where I think of something that I really want to share and I want to pull over right then and there to write it down so I don’t forget it.  There are times when the pull on my heart is strong.

That is what I am currently procrastinating on.  Trying to decide if I should go for it or not.

Maybe I will end up being a published author someday, even if it’s not what I imagined as a child.

Or maybe I will turn my writing into blog posts and simply share them here.

Either way, I have some writing to do!

-Bonnie