We’re now down to a little less than three weeks until we move. Crazy how quickly time is passing!
As we’re about to leave our first home together, I am reminded of how the ideal woman and the ideal wife is not made from a cookie cutter.
When we first got married, I compared myself to other women. I would see how they would take care of their house, how they blessed their husband, how they planned for and prepared meals, etc. I saw single women doing some things better than me. I felt like I wasn’t good enough. I couldn’t be a good enough wife.
I admit….yes, I definitely still do struggle with those thoughts. But I know that there is no such thing as THE ideal wife. God made every woman different. God made every husband different. What works in one household may not necessarily work in another. Sometimes it’s just for a season of life….sometimes it isn’t.
When our church was hosting a Home Fellowship (basically a home Bible study with a few families from church) I was so embarrassed to be taking….a salad mix for the dinner. A mix. None of the other ladies in my circle would bring a mix. They would buy their own lettuce, chop it up, and of course have other fresh vegetables to add.
But those other ladies are not me. For one thing, they don’t have a 9 x 5 kitchen with little counter and refrigerator space. For another thing….they might be gifted differently than me. It is not bad or wrong or sinful to purchase and offer a salad mix at a potluck. It does not make me less of a wife or less of a woman.
I used to think that I needed to do all these things to be the perfect wife. I needed to be able to cook proficiently (and generally speaking, enjoy it!) and have the house constantly clean.
It’s okay that I am not a gourmet chef. It’s okay that I’m not a proficient cook. It’s okay that I am not able to invent my own recipes or know the substitutes for ingredients that I don’t have.
Whenever anybody comes over, I sometimes die a little inside because our house isn’t spotless. But…it’s okay if the house isn’t constantly clean! It’s okay that oftentimes our couch has to be storage for things like books or mail because there is no other space in our house.
And guess what? It’s okay if my house and our life looks nothing like my parents. Or my in-laws. Or either of my sisters.
God has gifted people differently. God has called people to different life seasons and experiences.
This house has helped teach me hat I don’t have to live up to certain standards….because sometimes I just can’t. And that’s okay! As long as I am striving to honor the Lord and adequately take care of my husband, our house and our life is beautiful just the way it is!
So true; and I totally relate! Thanks for sharing!
I’ve taken salad mixes to potlucks often!!! It’s something easy to grab when I’ve run out of time because we had a busy weekend, and potlucks are often lacking in vegetables so everyone appreciates the salad. 🙂 But I agree with you, we don’t all have the same talents and what I can do well may not be the same as what you can do well. So we can help each other out better! 🙂 Thanks for sharing.