Apps for TTC

3 Comments

There are so many great apps out there!  Several are specifically great for anyone TTC.  Here are a few that I have found…

TTC apps infertility

  1. A cycle tracker.  There are a lot of good ones out there, including Fertility Friend, Kindara, and Woman Log.  My personal favorite is Woman Log, although I believe it is only available on Android.  Whichever one you choose, you need one that tracks all things related to your cycle…ovulation, symptoms, BBT, cervical fluid, luteal phase, etc.
  2. My Fertile Food.  Available on iTunes.  This app has daily targets to help you achieve optimal diet when TTC.  It tracks healthy fats, protein, veggies, fruits, whole grains, and super foods.
  3. My Mobile Fertility.  Available on iTunes.  This app is for holistic fertility treatment and endeavors, such as acupuncture and advocacy groups.
  4. Momento (iTunes) or Journey (Android).  These are journal apps where you can record things from each day.  Studies show that the more you focus on the positive, the more improved your mood and overall outlook on life.  You can add pictures to entries or just do text.
  5. Bible app.  Take some time out of your day to read some Scripture.
  6. Positive Inspirational Quotes or Life Inspirational Quotes.  Encouraging and motivating memes for every day.

What apps do you recommend for those TTC?

-Bonnie

31 Days ttc infertility

Be Your Own Advocate

4 Comments

No matter how far along you are in your journey of TTC, it is so so important to be your own advocate.

Research, research, research.  Know your options.  Find out things you can do on your own to improve fertility.  Discover something that you haven’t brought up to your doctor yet.

You know your own body better than anyone else, so if you are dissatisfied with answers from your doctor….find another one!

On this second round of TTC, I have seen five or six different doctors.  Not a single one of them has asked for a family history or my personal cycle history.  Just because they have impressive letters after their name does not mean that a doctor is to be trusted at all cost.  I am currently looking into options with our insurance for finding another practice.

Read about your body.  Read about different methods.  Some you might discard as crazy and others might seem like something you could benefit from.

So many doctors are quick to promote invasive and expensive procedures before even trying to find out the root cause of infertility.  (The Making Babies book also has some great information on that.)  Take the time to educate yourself so that you can be equipped when you step foot into the doctor’s office.  I learn new things all the time and it is very encouraging and empowering.

Kind of a tangent, but speaking about learning things….did you know that you can discover where your uterus and ovaries are??  Crazy cool.

Don’t settle for less than you deserve.  Do your research and proceed confidently.

-Bonnie

31 Days ttc infertility

Making Babies and GIVEAWAY

9 Comments

I heard about this book a little while back.  I decided to check to see if it was on Paperbackswap and indeed it was, so I requested a copy.

Making Babies: A Proven 3-Month Program for Maximum Fertility by Sami S. David MD and Jill Blakeway, LAc

TTC infertility making babies

It is so good.

I thought I knew the basics about human anatomy and how it works to, well…make babies.  But I learned so many things.  Not only did I become even more fascinated with the intricate and complex way we were created, but I realized some mistakes (or potential mistakes) we were making in trying to conceive.

I have heard it said that if you are considering starting a family, you should do all you can to get into optimal health before trying to conceive.  I always rather dismissed it, thinking it must be talking to people who are obviously unhealthy.  But after reading this book, I agree.

If you are thinking about or are currently trying to get pregnant, I definitely recommend pursuing an overall healthy lifestyle.  This book is a great way to do it.

First of all, the book explains the basics of a woman’s cycle, important lifestyle choices, ways to de-stress (including self-fertility massage), and a general TTC diet guide.

Then it talks about different fertility types and includes an in-depth quiz so you can determine your fertility type.  Then the authors talk about specific things for you to do, based on your type, to achieve health, ranging from exercise to diet to supplements.

In my doctor visits, I have definitely noticed that doctors tend to put you in a box and don’t ask a lot of questions.  What is normal for one woman’s cycle may not be normal for another woman’s cycle, and it is not enough for a doctor to dismiss symptoms as “normal cycle variance” just because there is a wide range of normal. This book addresses all of those things and takes your body into account so you can achieve maximum health.

From the back of the book…

“With a joint approach that is uniquely complementary, reproductive endocrinologist Dr. Sami David and founder of the YinOva Center, Jill Blakeway, draw on the best Western and Eastern medicine to create the Making Babies program, designed to help any woman get pregnant as naturally as possible.  With 4,000 successful pregnancies under their belts, David and Blakeway explain what might be stopping you from getting pregnant and how you can tailor a three-month action plan to meet your needs.  With the Making Babies program, you will:

  • Prepare your body for healthy, natural conception by implementing lifestyle changes as well as early intervention strategies
  • Discover common (and not so common) problems impeding your fertility that can be easily resolved (sometimes a simple course of antibiotics is all you need)
  • Determine your ‘fertility type’ and learn how to personalize an easy-to-follow prescription plan”

I have been so impressed with many of their testimonials, as they describe many patients who came to them after years of infertility, only to discover their problem was as simple as using the wrong kind of lube or an infection that their Dr failed to test.  Or even for the testimonials where there are more serious issues, there have been amazing results from people following the Making Babies program.

Obviously, I can’t guarantee that you will get pregnant after reading this book and utilizing their suggestions.  But I feel so much better after reading it and I am betting you will too.  I feel more knowledgeable (and there is a sense of “empowerment” in that) and definitely more proactive as I am making healthier choices.

Giveaway Time

I would love to bless someone else with a copy of this book.  If you would like a chance to win, click the link below to enter via Rafflecopter.

a Rafflecopter giveaway
//widget-prime.rafflecopter.com/launch.js

-Bonnie

Note: Life With You is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.

31 Days ttc infertility

It is OK to grieve

9 Comments

Your TTC journey probably looks nothing like what you envisioned.  It’s probably not what you would have prayed for or requested.

It is okay to grieve.

It is okay to grieve the loss of your child.

It is okay to grieve the loss of your dream to have a child.

It is okay to grieve the loss of your dream to have more children.

When I realized that I was stopped in my tracks.

Letting go of your dreams is a hard hard thing.  To realize the things that you longed for that will never happen.

We will never have a sibling close in age to our Wingman.  I was kind of holding onto that fact deep down and I think that it was causing even more stress because I wanted so desperately to have a little buddy for him.  Our desire was to have children fairly close together.  And now that will never happen.

I grieved.  I cried.  I hurt.  And I definitely sometimes do still grieve, cry, and hurt over that fact.

But there is also freedom that comes in grieving and letting go of that dream.  In realizing that now our future will have a new dream.

It may not be what I would have wanted, but I know that somehow it will be perfect for our family.

It is much harder to accept when it is the loss of a child.  I still wrestle with the “why” of that one.  And I don’t have the answers except that I know that somewhere in the midst of all my questions, God is good and He is loving my sweet babies right now.

Some grief you might be able to move past.  Some grief, like the loss of a child, will probably stay with you forever.

All throughout the Bible we see stories of people experiencing deep grief and anguish.  Do not be afraid or ashamed to grieve.

-Bonnie

31 Days ttc infertility

Rejoice with Those who Rejoice

1 Comment

“Rejoice with those who rejoice,
weep with those who weep.”

Romans 12:15

pregnant-163572_1280And now for part two.  Or technically part one.  I previously posted about weeping with those who weep.  Today let’s think about rejoicing with those who rejoice.

This is the hard one.  Or maybe it’s just me?

Raise your hand if you have ever gotten on Facebook to discover the fifth pregnancy announcement of the week.

Raise your hand if your friend/relative announced a pregnancy the same day your period started.

Raise your hand if you were invited to a baby shower during a very emotional week.

Am I the only one with my hand up?  No?  Well if anyone else has a hand up, know you’re in good company.

Those moments are hard.  And I’ll be honest and say that my first thought usually is not one of rejoicing.

Guess what?  God doesn’t give us an out here.  We are called to rejoice regardless of the personal pain we are going through.  I have wrestled with this.  Where does my personal pain end and jealousy begin?  Where is the line between needing space and becoming a bitch about it (yes, I just said that)?  How do you balance personal pain and rejoicing with others?

Let me just say that it is a hard question to answer.  And the answer might look different for different people.

First I want to say that those feelings are normal.  A person’s personal experience will always color their lives (and yes I will repeat the cliche…it’s up to us if we allow it to negatively or positively impact us).

It is ok if you need to decline a baby shower invitation (just rejoice by sending a gift anyway!).

It is ok if you can’t bring yourself to enthuse on Facebook when an acquaintance announces a pregnancy (but rejoice and hit “like” anyway!).

It is ok if you ask one of your close friends, “Hey if you hear that so-and-so is pregnant, can you try to let me know before she announces it so that I have time to prepare myself and truly have a happy response when she tells me?”

Sometimes rejoicing is a battle.  It’s when you choose to put aside your pain and do something for someone else because it’s the right thing to do.  And because deep down we are happy, very happy, for our friends and we want them to know it.

TTC cannot be an excuse for jealousy.  Or for becoming a permanent hermit.  It is a battle that must be fought but it is a hard, sometimes constant, battle.

How have you been able to rejoice with others when you don’t feel like it?

-Bonnie

31 Days ttc infertility

The Power of the Pen

3 Comments

I am a writer.  I’ve always loved words.  I’ve always loved to write.  I have kept a journal off and on for almost twenty years.

But even if you do not consider yourself a writer, I highly recommend that you journal.  Martha mentioned this in her post earlier in the series, and I definitely concur.

There is something about putting a pen to paper that can be so healing.  It gives me time to think through and truly process all the thoughts swirling around in my head.  It forces me to put words to what I am thinking and feeling.

Writing provides an outlet to process, to vent, to reflect, and to heal.

Plus, for me anyway, it is so helpful to write things down as they happen instead of trying to re-create it later.  There have been so many times when I have kicked myself for not journaling (like the first two years of our marriage!!) and keeping track of different things I went through and learned.

Journal TTC

Some of the things you might consider writing about in your journal…

  • Medical information (doctor visits, test results, etc)
  • Your thoughts and feelings
  • Prayers
  • Things you are learning
  • Bible verses

Go to the store and buy a brand new journal that speaks to you.  My current journal I found at Target and it is absolutely perfect.   It has a typewriter and butterflies on it.  Perfect for this season of my life.

Do you journal?  Do you find that it is helpful for you?

-Bonnie

31 Days ttc infertility

Care Package Ideas: Miscarriage

6 Comments

After my miscarriage, I was so overwhelmed and amazed by all the people who surrounded us.  I wrote a status on Facebook, figuring a few people might see it, but I had almost 90 comments from people who were grieving with us and praying for us.

The elders from our church sent us a card in the mail.  A friend whom I haven’t seen in a year sent me a card.  An out-of-state friend paid for The Pilot and I to order take-out.  One of my best friends sent a care package.  And another friend who I haven’t seen in about three years sent a care package.

I was blown away.  That is truly what it means to be the hands and feet of Christ.  In a time where my heart was breaking, we were surrounded with love and with people caring for us.  I have a hard time putting into words how just absolutely overwhelmed I was with gratefulness.

If you know someone who has a miscarriage, rest assured that your comments, emails, cards, and packages mean a lot.  Even if it’s someone that you haven’t talked to in a while.

Care package miscarriage

A few ideas on items to include in a care package…

  • A card.  Don’t be afraid to talk about it or to mention their baby.
  • Coffee
  • Snacks (sweet or salty…or both!)
  • Restaurant gift card (After our loss, I just wanted to spend time with my husband.  I needed that time to be close to him.)
  • Redbox gift code (and popcorn!)
  • a journal
  • Adult coloring book
  • Fuzzy socks
  • Lotion or other pampering items
  • Note paper, note cards, or memo pad
  • A game that can be played with only two players so the couple can spend that time together
  • One friend did a themed box, so everything she sent was yellow.  She attached a note that said she hoped it brought sunshine to my day!  So sweet and thoughtful!
  • They also sent some items for our Wingman, and that meant so much to me (and also made his day!).

Here are some ideas other than a care package…

  • Drop off a meal or if you are not local, perhaps send a meal from Schwan’s that can be delivered to their door.
  • If you are local, offer to watch their other children so they can spend some time together.
  • Give them a hug and be willing to cry with them
  • Send flowers
  • Offer to help out around the house
  • Share your story.  If you have experienced loss, it is ok to talk about it and cry together.
  • Run to the grocery store for them

There are absolutely no words to describe the kind of pain that comes with losing a little one, no matter how young.  Loving hands reaching out literally means the world.

-Bonnie

31 Days ttc infertility

My Child – Guest Post

1 Comment

Today’s guest blogger wished to remain anonymous.  I appreciate her willingness to share.  When you have a miscarriage, it is the loss of your baby.  There are no words that can adequately describe that kind of pain.  Here my friend shares something she wrote after the loss of her daughter.

TTC miscarriage

——————-

Rachel Hope . . . a name for the child I will never know. Why did we name you? A name confirms your identity as our child, as a human being. Without a name, it is much too easy to refer to you as “our baby,” “the baby,” or even “it.” Without a name, I know you are our child, but a name confirms it.

            People have names. You were not simply an amorphous glob of cells within my body. You were, you are, our child. So we named you.

We name you because, even though we will never hold you, you are a part of our lives. We named you to establish your place in our family as our first child. We named you because we love you.

Rachel Hope . . . the child I will never know. I love you.

31 Days ttc infertility

The Ache of a Miscarriage

5 Comments

Honestly, this 31 day series did not come at a good time for me.  I had been planning for several months to do a series on TTC in October.  I began compiling a list of different topics to address as well as ideas for people to guest post.

And then in August, I discovered I was pregnant.  It was odd, because even when I was staring at the positive test, something just felt off.  I wasn’t overwhelmingly excited as I would have expected.  I soon realized that something was indeed wrong and five days later I had a miscarriage.

We ended up getting pregnant again very quickly.  I discovered at the beginning of this series that I was pregnant again.  And then, two days ago….our precious baby went to heaven.

I have been putting off writing this post, because I don’t even know how to write about it.  And yet miscarriages can be such a huge part of TTC that I feel that it needs to be addressed.  Perhaps someday I will be able to blog about my experiences, but I do not feel that I am ready.

Tomorrow I have a guest poster who will share.  And the next day I will have a post for anyone who has had a loved one experience a miscarriage and ways you can help.

-Bonnie

31 Days ttc infertility