To my Precious Child Yet to Be

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My precious baby,

Words cannot describe how much I love you already.  As of yet, you aren’t even a line on a stick, but I long for you.  I long to have you in my belly, to feel you kick, to hold you close once you are born.  I want to kiss your head, your face, your hands.

I pray for you.  I hope every day that God will give you to us.  You will be our rainbow baby, our precious miracle that comes after miscarriage.

infertility TTC rainbow baby

You have such an amazing father.  Such a wonderful big brother.  He will be so happy to meet you!!  I know he will help take good care of you.  You have two precious big siblings with Jesus as well and someday we will all be together.

Sometimes I feel like it will be forever until I can meet you.  Until I can get some sign that you will in fact one day be a reality.  But I have hope.  Hope that someday you will become two pink lines.  That you will grow in my belly and I will be nauseous and starving because of you.  That you will kick me in the ribs and as I rub away the pain I will smile knowing that my precious little one caused it.

You are our precious miracle.  I hope to meet you soon, but I am content to wait.  I know that God’s timing in giving you to us will be perfect.

I love you more than words can express.




31 Days ttc infertility

What if God Does Not Provide?


One of my favorite infertility bloggers, A Sweet Aroma, graciously allowed me to re-blog one of her posts.  I was scrolling through her posts and this one stood out to me.  It truly encompasses so much of what this journey is like and I for one needed (and still need!) that faith booster.

Thank you, Brandy, for sharing your blog post!!

What If God Doesnt Provide TTC


Husband and I were on the last leg of our trip to San Diego.
It was a late evening flight on the Eve of Thanksgiving.
Most of the cabin (including Joel) was asleep.
I couldn’t seem to quiet my brain to join them so I pulled out my Bible, journal, and devotion.
The first real bit of peace and quiet I’d had all day.

I was a day behind on my Thanksgiving series so I decided to play catch up….
Interestingly enough the 2 days were “Give Thanks in Plenty” and “Give Thanks in Want.”
Just that morning I had shared my few day old letter to the Two Week Wait.
I knew that during our time with Joel’s family we would know one way or the other….
Was my womb filled with plenty or filled with want?

The perspective from the devotion left me in tears.
The moment held such chilling intimacy that’s not predicted on a plane packed with passengers.
As the tears faded and my eyes grew tired, I turned on my music, laid over on the window
and hoped to get some rest.
I dozed off while dreaming of having good news to share with our California family.

But that dream was short lived… even shorter than I expected.

I woke up on Thursday, Thanksgiving Day, to find out that my womb was filled with want.
My baby-home was still empty and next summer would not hold a child for me to hold.

Visit A Sweet Aroma to read the rest of her wonderful post.31 Days ttc infertility

Natural Fertility Info


Another great web site to check out is Natural Fertility Info.

I subscribed to their email list and I have enjoyed reading the tips and information that Heathir sends out.

You can sign up for the 10 Day Fertility Smoothie Challenge or the 21 Day Fertility Diet Challenge.

Read about various fertility issues, including PCOS, endometriosis, blocked fallopian tubes, unexplained infertility, FSH infertility, and much more.

There is also a great section on different kinds of therapies, including acupuncture, herbs, aromatherapy, and cleansing.

It was also Heathir who educated me on egg health.  Did you know that what you do today (food intake, exercise, stress, oxygenation, etc) affects the eggs that will be released 90 days from now?  Crazy!

This site is definitely a great resource to add to your repertoire!


31 Days ttc infertility

Apps for TTC


There are so many great apps out there!  Several are specifically great for anyone TTC.  Here are a few that I have found…

TTC apps infertility

  1. A cycle tracker.  There are a lot of good ones out there, including Fertility Friend, Kindara, and Woman Log.  My personal favorite is Woman Log, although I believe it is only available on Android.  Whichever one you choose, you need one that tracks all things related to your cycle…ovulation, symptoms, BBT, cervical fluid, luteal phase, etc.
  2. My Fertile Food.  Available on iTunes.  This app has daily targets to help you achieve optimal diet when TTC.  It tracks healthy fats, protein, veggies, fruits, whole grains, and super foods.
  3. My Mobile Fertility.  Available on iTunes.  This app is for holistic fertility treatment and endeavors, such as acupuncture and advocacy groups.
  4. Momento (iTunes) or Journey (Android).  These are journal apps where you can record things from each day.  Studies show that the more you focus on the positive, the more improved your mood and overall outlook on life.  You can add pictures to entries or just do text.
  5. Bible app.  Take some time out of your day to read some Scripture.
  6. Positive Inspirational Quotes or Life Inspirational Quotes.  Encouraging and motivating memes for every day.

What apps do you recommend for those TTC?


31 Days ttc infertility

Be Your Own Advocate


No matter how far along you are in your journey of TTC, it is so so important to be your own advocate.

Research, research, research.  Know your options.  Find out things you can do on your own to improve fertility.  Discover something that you haven’t brought up to your doctor yet.

You know your own body better than anyone else, so if you are dissatisfied with answers from your doctor….find another one!

On this second round of TTC, I have seen five or six different doctors.  Not a single one of them has asked for a family history or my personal cycle history.  Just because they have impressive letters after their name does not mean that a doctor is to be trusted at all cost.  I am currently looking into options with our insurance for finding another practice.

Read about your body.  Read about different methods.  Some you might discard as crazy and others might seem like something you could benefit from.

So many doctors are quick to promote invasive and expensive procedures before even trying to find out the root cause of infertility.  (The Making Babies book also has some great information on that.)  Take the time to educate yourself so that you can be equipped when you step foot into the doctor’s office.  I learn new things all the time and it is very encouraging and empowering.

Kind of a tangent, but speaking about learning things….did you know that you can discover where your uterus and ovaries are??  Crazy cool.

Don’t settle for less than you deserve.  Do your research and proceed confidently.


31 Days ttc infertility

Making Babies and GIVEAWAY


I heard about this book a little while back.  I decided to check to see if it was on Paperbackswap and indeed it was, so I requested a copy.

Making Babies: A Proven 3-Month Program for Maximum Fertility by Sami S. David MD and Jill Blakeway, LAc

TTC infertility making babies

It is so good.

I thought I knew the basics about human anatomy and how it works to, well…make babies.  But I learned so many things.  Not only did I become even more fascinated with the intricate and complex way we were created, but I realized some mistakes (or potential mistakes) we were making in trying to conceive.

I have heard it said that if you are considering starting a family, you should do all you can to get into optimal health before trying to conceive.  I always rather dismissed it, thinking it must be talking to people who are obviously unhealthy.  But after reading this book, I agree.

If you are thinking about or are currently trying to get pregnant, I definitely recommend pursuing an overall healthy lifestyle.  This book is a great way to do it.

First of all, the book explains the basics of a woman’s cycle, important lifestyle choices, ways to de-stress (including self-fertility massage), and a general TTC diet guide.

Then it talks about different fertility types and includes an in-depth quiz so you can determine your fertility type.  Then the authors talk about specific things for you to do, based on your type, to achieve health, ranging from exercise to diet to supplements.

In my doctor visits, I have definitely noticed that doctors tend to put you in a box and don’t ask a lot of questions.  What is normal for one woman’s cycle may not be normal for another woman’s cycle, and it is not enough for a doctor to dismiss symptoms as “normal cycle variance” just because there is a wide range of normal. This book addresses all of those things and takes your body into account so you can achieve maximum health.

From the back of the book…

“With a joint approach that is uniquely complementary, reproductive endocrinologist Dr. Sami David and founder of the YinOva Center, Jill Blakeway, draw on the best Western and Eastern medicine to create the Making Babies program, designed to help any woman get pregnant as naturally as possible.  With 4,000 successful pregnancies under their belts, David and Blakeway explain what might be stopping you from getting pregnant and how you can tailor a three-month action plan to meet your needs.  With the Making Babies program, you will:

  • Prepare your body for healthy, natural conception by implementing lifestyle changes as well as early intervention strategies
  • Discover common (and not so common) problems impeding your fertility that can be easily resolved (sometimes a simple course of antibiotics is all you need)
  • Determine your ‘fertility type’ and learn how to personalize an easy-to-follow prescription plan”

I have been so impressed with many of their testimonials, as they describe many patients who came to them after years of infertility, only to discover their problem was as simple as using the wrong kind of lube or an infection that their Dr failed to test.  Or even for the testimonials where there are more serious issues, there have been amazing results from people following the Making Babies program.

Obviously, I can’t guarantee that you will get pregnant after reading this book and utilizing their suggestions.  But I feel so much better after reading it and I am betting you will too.  I feel more knowledgeable (and there is a sense of “empowerment” in that) and definitely more proactive as I am making healthier choices.

Giveaway Time

I would love to bless someone else with a copy of this book.  If you would like a chance to win, click the link below to enter via Rafflecopter.

a Rafflecopter giveaway


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31 Days ttc infertility